Samurai Pizza Cat-ismen

Guido Anchovis (after zapping a bunch of Ninja Crowes with a psycedelic blast from his Sun Spot Umbrella)

Hey guys, there's only one ticket left for the 'Iron Butterly' concert and you're going to have to fight for it.

Narrator

As the sun rises over Little Tokyo, another mechanical monster is wreaking havoc on the countryside! Who do you suppose is responsible for this?

Bad Bird

Who else? Haha! 't Is I, star of the show.

Narrator

Check your contract! It says "guest villain".

Kid

Look mom, Polly can jump higher than the Empire State building!

Mama-san

I didn't know the Empire State building could jump.

Narrator

Is Polly right? Is the Big Cheese involved in this? Well if he isn't, we won't have much of a story, folks.

Kid

Mama-san, what do they call that thing they shoot the cats out of?

Mama-san

I'm not sure, but I think they call it a catapult.

Kid

Boy, I'm glad I didn't have to say that line...

Narrator

Is this the end of the Pizza Cats? After only seven episodes?

Speedy Cerviche

Okay, get camera three in place for the Ginsu-sword sequence. Let's have a big finish!

Narrator

Even though it was Spritz the Cat who defeated the robots and saved the day, Speedy's the hero who negotiated the lucrative merchandising deal for the Pizza Cats Running Shoes, T-Shirts, Lunchboxes and Executive Desk Sets. So we have a contractual commitment to make a big fuzz over him like this in every episode. Bear with us, folks, it's big business...

Bad Bird (who has just found out that Big Cheese didn't mean a nuclear potato)

Shooks... It wasn't a nuclear, it was just a common tater

Narrator

And so, we come to the end of another adventure with our heroes: Speedy, Polly and Guido, but they'll be back for another episode, unless of course they'll get a better offer from another producer.

Speedy Cerviche

We're just waiting to hear from our agent about a big movie deal!

Narrator

That's where you have to wear the turtle costumes, right?

Jerry Atric (after the cats have broken into Big Cheese's vault)

Oh no! Someone has broken into the vault! I hope they don't scratch my "Lovin' Spoonfull" albums.

Bad Bird (after freezing Professor Ohm)

Now you know what it's like to live in Quebec. Perhaps now you'll learn to speak au français. Give us the secret, or you'll be eating crêpes, pal!

Speedy Cerviche

Achooo! (sniff)

Francine

Hey! Be carefull not to sneeze on the pizzas.

Guido Anchovis

Yeah, or we'll have to charge more for the extra toppings.

[ Samoerai Pizza Cats ]